Home

Driving a bus from Lakewood, Colorado to Winona Lake, Indiana offers a person quite a bit of time to contemplate lots of things. That is a dangerous proposition when your brain already refuses to shut off. During this week long road trip with the CCU Women’s Basketball team I found myself often contemplating this question, “What am I doing?”  This was not a question arising from the obvious query regarding the sanity of one who voluntarily and joyfully drives a 37-passenger bus across the country (with help of course).  No, this is a question that I have been found asking myself for the better part of three years. Often the question arises during times of contemplation and reflection and serves as a way to, for lack of a better term, recalibrate my bearings towards Christ. Almost as often the question arises out of frustration with surroundings and circumstances. “The grass is greener” mentality is a struggle that I fight with at times. I think job statistics and the number of times a person is likely to change jobs backs up the premise that many people struggle with this, but that may just be me hoping that I am not the only one who struggles with that.

Regardless of what precipitates the question, my answer almost always leaves me longing for home. Not Alaska, where I grew up and still think about often, and not Colorado, where my house and bed currently reside. I find myself longing to be in the physical presence of Christ. I use the term “presence of Christ” instead of heaven on purpose.  Too often people speak of heaven and what they mean is a peaceful utopia where their sinful desires are met without resistance from conscience or fear of judgment. I long to be rid of my sinful flesh and look into the face of Christ for eternity. The more I ask myself the question, “What am I doing?” the more whatever it is I am doing holds less and less appeal. The more I look at my life and the world around me the more I find myself longing to see the face of Jesus.

Home is not here.  Home is in the presence of Jesus.  We are pilgrims.  We are sojourners.  We are here for a moment and then gone.  Why do we waste our time on anything that does not point us towards or bring us closer to home?