Self-Justification

"As long as your conscience is able to justify your [moral] failure, your soul will never vigorously attempt the mortification of sin." ~John Owen

The other day I was looking back over some past posts and realized that I was seeing a trend in what I have been writing about.  Due in part to a large influence by who I have been reading, I have noticed that many of my posts tend to deal with sin, and our fight against it.  In the past months I have come to the conclusion that American Christianity rarely, if ever, truly hates sin.  I have reached this conclusion for several reasons.  First, rarely is the "s" word ever mentioned in Christian circles.  Often times sin is treated like an ancillary problem that can be dealt with later after we have introduced teddy bear Jesus.  The problem is, no one ever seems to getting around to dealing with it.  Secondly, as I have pursued conversations about salvation, holiness and sanctification with people, the phrase I think I have heard the most (certainly in the top three), is along the lines of this, "I will never be perfect, that's why there is grace."  That is a true statement, but the context in which that statement is used the most is generally when people are making an excuse for a sin.  And I fear that it used to hide the fact that we rather enjoy the sin we are entangled in and don't want to give it up.  Finally, the fear of God is extinct in most churches.  A poor view of who God is, and our infinite distance from Him because of our sin, has bred a weird familiarity with God that lacks holy fear that He is God and I am a sinful man.  The fact that all of saints in Scripture who see God think that they are going to die is lost on us for some reason.

This has been crystalized for me in my reading of John Owen's The Mortification of Sin which has been abridged (and made easy to read thank goodness) by Richard Rushing.  I would recommend it to anyone who is serious about throwing off the sin which entangles us to easily and running hard after Jesus.  The line from the book that I quote above was kind of an "Aha" moment for me.  We are so quick to justify our moral shortcomings.  We are so quick to either look around us and find someone worse off than we are to compare ourselves to or to write off whatever is pressing on our conscience as just a byproduct of being human that will never be resolved.  And while I am not saying that we will be perfect in this life, I am saying that these excuses are silly because they do not create in us an appropriate hatred of sin that is necessary to run hard after Jesus.  Let me put it this way.  If my wife hates a television show that I insist on watching, I will be deprived of time spent with my wife while I watch that show because she will have nothing to do with it.  If we continually make excuses for indulging in something that Christ hates, what makes us think that we will not be deprived of His presence?  Stop making excuses for sin and start fighting it instead.  Or in other words, stop loving the things of this world and desire instead fellowship with Christ.  And if that last line creates in your heart a response of, "Christ cannot be more interesting than x, y, or z" or "Yes, but what about all that is good in life," repent and ask Jesus to reveal Himself to you and remove whatever idol has a grip on your heart.

Tim Tebow / Peyton Manning

I can't help myself.  All day long, and really ever since Peyton Manning was signed and the Tebow countdown clock started, I have been reading facebook and twitter posts from Tebow-ites raging that God will bless whichever team picks up Tebow and curse the Bronco's.  I'm sorry, I'm laughing at you and not with you.  I will play along with your train of thought and ignore the fact that Peyton Manning also claims to follow Christ (ouch, turns out Timmy and Peyton are in fact on the same team, looks like you can't hate the Bronco's anymore...), and address what I see as the silly premise at the base of a lot of this internet tough guy hate.  I think most of these statements reveal the truth, that many professing believers root for Tim Tebow because they see a man living his faith out in a way that makes them feel guilty because they don't live their faith out at all.  And they are rooting for his success because then the paradigm through which they see God is fulfilled: Do good for God and He will give you earthly blessings.  When that paradigm gets blown up, and the truth that has been proclaimed throughout scripture and history, that those who follow Christ adamantly and without reservation usually end up getting the brunt end of the stick, people get angry because they can't handle the idea that God's ultimate good for a person to get him to the place where he does not hold tightly to the things of this earth.  Thus the promises of a hard life, not an easy one.  I work in college athletics at a Christian University and so I can say this pretty definitively: I rarely see anyone interested in the hope we as Christians have after we beat them senseless at a game.  But when we bust our butts and get a raw deal, or when we give it everything we have and lose when we aren't supposed to, that's when people see something different.  Our hope isn't in a game or success in a game, it's in Jesus Christ.  Tim Tebow got a raw deal.  He was busy busting his butt to be the best he could be and got displaced by a first ballot Hall of Famer (who, once again, professes to believe in the same God).  Stop whining about it and start checking your gut to see what you hope in so that when life does the same thing to you, you run to Christ.

Home

Driving a bus from Lakewood, Colorado to Winona Lake, Indiana offers a person quite a bit of time to contemplate lots of things. That is a dangerous proposition when your brain already refuses to shut off. During this week long road trip with the CCU Women’s Basketball team I found myself often contemplating this question, “What am I doing?”  This was not a question arising from the obvious query regarding the sanity of one who voluntarily and joyfully drives a 37-passenger bus across the country (with help of course).  No, this is a question that I have been found asking myself for the better part of three years. Often the question arises during times of contemplation and reflection and serves as a way to, for lack of a better term, recalibrate my bearings towards Christ. Almost as often the question arises out of frustration with surroundings and circumstances. “The grass is greener” mentality is a struggle that I fight with at times. I think job statistics and the number of times a person is likely to change jobs backs up the premise that many people struggle with this, but that may just be me hoping that I am not the only one who struggles with that.

Regardless of what precipitates the question, my answer almost always leaves me longing for home. Not Alaska, where I grew up and still think about often, and not Colorado, where my house and bed currently reside. I find myself longing to be in the physical presence of Christ. I use the term “presence of Christ” instead of heaven on purpose.  Too often people speak of heaven and what they mean is a peaceful utopia where their sinful desires are met without resistance from conscience or fear of judgment. I long to be rid of my sinful flesh and look into the face of Christ for eternity. The more I ask myself the question, “What am I doing?” the more whatever it is I am doing holds less and less appeal. The more I look at my life and the world around me the more I find myself longing to see the face of Jesus.

Home is not here.  Home is in the presence of Jesus.  We are pilgrims.  We are sojourners.  We are here for a moment and then gone.  Why do we waste our time on anything that does not point us towards or bring us closer to home?

Hope pt 3

Last week when I preached I challenged people to test themselves to see what they put their hope in.  The two tests were these: First, if you knew you were going to die or that Jesus was coming back tonight, what response would that elicit?  Often, I think the response is, "That's great, but... there is so much I want to still do in life.  There is (fill in the blank)."  I know this because this was my response for the longest time.  While it is innocent enough, it belies the fact that we are actually hoping more in whatever we feel sadness for missing in life rather than in Christ.

The second test is one I have used on here before. If you got to heaven and it was everything you ever dreamed of, the streets of gold, the perfect bodies that never decayed or died, past friends and family, all the gifts of Christ you could imagine but Jesus was not there would you miss Him at all?  You see, it is possible to hope in heaven and the gifts of God and not in God Himself. 

These two litmus tests have blown me up this week.  I have an idolatrous heart and the world is an endless idol factory.  Thus the admonitions in scripture over and over to hold loosely to the things of this world and cling tightly to Christ.  We cannot serve both.  It is one thing to have mental conviction, and many have it.  It is another thing to have hope in Christ, and I am finding more and more that fewer and fewer people have it.

New Sermon

Got to preach at Westwood church this morning.... here is the link... it starts with a Three Amigo's sound bite, so don't think you clicked on the wrong link... about 25 minutes long.

http://www.westwoodscommunitychurch.org/web-storage/2012_Spring/12.03.04.mp3

The War We Must Fight

I have come to the conclusion over the past few weeks that I, and probably many others, do not wage war against sin as I should.  I am convinced more and more that most American Christians, myself included, focus on salvation to the detriment of sanctification (i.e. the process in which we become more Christ-like during the rest of our lives after salvation).  I have reached this conclusion because more often than not, in my life at least, I think I try to hide sin rather than fight sin.  I wage my war against the fruit of sin (that is the outward actions) while rarely fighting against the root of sin (the sinful attitudes of the heart).  I am currently reading a book entitled The Mortification of Sin by John Owen.  Now the original version of this, which I read several months ago, is very hard to read and I realized that I missed much of its punch due to the fact that I didn't understand it.  However, there is a version of this book that has been abridged and made easy to read by a man named Richard Rushing and it is rocking my world a little bit.

I would like nothing more than to sit here and type quotes from this book, but I will instead try to summarize what is blowing me up so much.  Namely this: there is not a day that will pass from now until I die that I will not be engaged in this war.  If I take a day off, sin will seize upon that day and prevail.  Now, to be clear, it is only by the power of the Holy Spirit that one is able to wage this war.  Without Him, this war turns into religious duty that will suffocate and crush whoever tries to fight under their own strength.  But warfare it is non-the-less.  Even when I am not under direct attack from sin, I must be preparing for battle.  Just because a soldier is not engaged in actual combat does not mean that combat isn't coming.  And if that soldier isn't preparing for the enemy while at rest, then he will surely be defeated in battle.  Do I constantly wage war?  Too often not.  Just in the past 72 hours I have allowed my mind and thoughts to be distracted and to venture into sin.  For example, a fairly significant injustice was done to people I care about and rather than fighting against the anger that resulted, I indulged in it.  And before long bitterness and malice were raging in my heart.  This should not be, but the enemy seized upon a moment and before long I was having to repent.  Which brings us back to the point that this war must be waged by the power of the Spirit.  My natural self will always indulge in sin, which is why we are called to take up our cross daily and follow Christ.  Dying to ourselves and our natural inclinations and pushing further and further into His Grace and Truth. 

Hope pt 2 - Politics

So this is a bit of a follow on to the last post addressing what it is we put our hope in.  Besides money, success, and the opposite sex I would argue that the thing Americans like to put their hope in more than anything else is politics.  It has been something of an anomaly for me to watch people (especially college age kids) simultaneously profess a lack of trust in the political system and a strong desire to change society via the political system. And the more I watch the 24 hour news cycle covering the 2012 election (mistake number 1) the more I realize how many people, democrat, republican and independent alike, put their hope in legislating change that they think will bring about utopia.  Now, I will lay my cards on the table before proceeding.  I am a registered republican, I tend to be conservative in my view of life, and I work at a conservative Christian university.  With that said, let me attempt to upset everyone.

In the last election, President Obama hit a chord with people by preaching hope and change.  And people by the millions believed him and bought into his program.  It was hysteria over a man that I have never seen before (until Tim Tebow became the 13th apostle).  53% of our nation put their hope in Obama to change the system.  And the reality is, the right is no different.  Their hope is just in someone else.  Both sides ignore one glaring issue: No empire, kingdom, or republic is eternal save that of Jesus Christ.  America is going to run its course and end some day.  Might be our lifetime, might not.  But Babylon, Persia, pick your Ming dynasty, Greece, Rome, Turkey, Portugal, Spain, England, all have run their course.  Are we really that arrogant to think we won't also.  And in the meantime, we continue to put our hope in politicians and policies.  Rick Santorum won three primaries and the conservatives rejoiced.  Really?  If Barack Obama wins again this year, slightly more than half our country will rejoice and think that hope and change are still coming.  If he loses, then slightly more than half our country will rejoice and think that hope and change are still coming.  Either way, the other half will prepare for doomsday.  Our hope is in the wrong place people.  By all means, exercise your right to vote.  Vote your conscience.  But vote realizing that no matter what you vote, America will end one day and the Kingdom of Jesus won't.  You are born into the first because your daddy had enough game to catch the eye of your momma.  You are born into the second because your hope is no longer here, but in Jesus.  Stop putting your hope in the government to legislate morality (the right) and provide everything for everyone (the left).

Hope

My wife and I are ESPN junkies.  There is a better than average chance that if the TV is on, ESPN is the channel that it is set to.  Tonight we sat down for a quick minute after taking the pooch to the park and there was a show on in which ESPN had put together several pieces highlighting some stars from this past NFL season.  It was a kind of "behind the scenes look" at the lives of these football players, what motivates them, etc.  There were two that stuck out to me because, in one very key aspect, they were polar opposites: Cam Newton and Aaron Rodgers.  Now I don't know either of these guys from the man on the moon, but I couldn't help but notice the striking difference.  

Now I will preface this little commentary with this: I have no idea what was actually going through the minds of these two men during these interviews.  But I did watch their faces, and this is what it looked like to me.  First came Cam Newton who exuded a youthful exuberance.  The future lay before him: there are superbowls to win, pro-bowls to attend, records to be re-written.  The essence of life flowed from a game that he is dead set on conquering.  On the other hand there was Aaron Rodgers.  He has been there and done all that Cam Newton aspires to.  He has re-written the record book, done the pro-bowl, won a superbowl and made a city forget a first ballot hall of famer.  And the look in his eyes while the reported was going over all those accolades with him was one that looked like boredom.  I don't know what he was thinking, but he looked bored, as if he had come to the realization that everything he had achieved still left him lacking.  The reporter then asked him about the NFL MVP award and what it would mean to win that.  For a brief instant, that same exuberance that was all over Cam Newton's face came into the eyes of Aaron Rodgers as he truthfully answered that winning the award would mean a great deal, as it would be a vindication for the work he has put in when no one is looking.  And then, in a flash, that exuberance was gone.  It was as if his mind caught up with his emotions and he knew deep down that it would just be another award that would give him a cheap high and leave him empty again.

What is our hope in.  Hope, by definition, is expectation for that which is unseen and/or unrealized.  Rodgers hopes to win the MVP because he hasn't won it yet and he has real expectation for winning it this year.  If I said I hoped to be married some day you would think I am crazy (because I am already married).  What is our hope in?  Or put another way, what is it that we hope for?

Seven years ago today (the wednesday before the superbowl - which was actually Feb 2 in 2005) I was put under anesthesia for a surgery in which they planned to remove my large intestine.  I remember two things clearly from that day.  First, I remember the surgeon.  She stood at the end of my bed and, after telling me what she thought was wrong, said, "You are never going to fly airplanes in the Navy again."  In the amount of time it took you to read that sentence, my world ended.  The only other thing I remember from that day was crying between the time she told me that and I went under for surgery.  I cried because everything my hope was in was ripped out of my hands in a heartbeat.  My whole life had been dedicated to earning a pilot slot and then excelling in flight school and I had finally made the big leagues.  I had made the equivalent of an NFL roster.  I was flying the newest, most advanced fighter in the Navy.  I was Cam Newton.  Only, I was Cam Newton in training camp and I would never get a rookie season.  I got drafted, signed, and went through training camp only to lose my dream in the first game of my rookie season.  Everything I hoped for, everything I thought was important was gone in an instant.

I ended up being in surgery for five days.  I woke up on the day the Patriots last won a superbowl (maybe that's why I am cheering for them this weekend...).  I woke up in a new world, a world in which my hope was not in flying, could not be flying ever again because as much as I wanted to fight it, I knew I would never fly fast jets again.  And then I came to a realization: everything in this world will fail me.  One day my job will be gone.  My house will be gone.  All my little electronic trinkets that I think are so cool will be in the trash.  Either I will die or the people I love will die and be gone.  This world, and all that is in it, is passing away.  And so I ask, what I had to ask myself: what is your hope in.  Now, there were quite a few other things that happened that I will probably write about in the coming days, but the realization I came to is that my hope must be in Christ.  For if Christ is not God, then there is nothing worth hoping in.  But if He is who He said He is (God) then He is the only thing worth hoping in.

Forgiveness

This video was the introduction for the sermon at church this past weekend.  The pastor spoke about forgiveness out of Mark 2 (which I would encourage you to read) in which Jesus forgives the sins of a paralytic and then heals him.  But this video is what stuck with me.  The magnitude, force, and sheer power of forgiveness is determined by the act that is being forgiven.  Forgiving someone for stealing a quarter is something different altogether from forgiving a person for stealing everything I own.  Likewise, the act of forgiving a murderer carries much more weight than forgiving someone who was angry.  Forgiveness is inextricably tied to what is being forgiven.  This is because the severity of a wrong doing is measured by the worth of that which is wronged.  Forgiving a murderer causes us to shake our head because human life is so precious and valuable.  That is why crimes against children are so atrocious.  That is why when I lie to my wife that I have no valentines day plans when I do, you shake your head and laugh.

And herein lies a fundamental truth about God's forgiveness that I think we often lose.  Go back to the story about the paralytic in Mark 2.  As far as we know, the man never really did anything wrong.  Scripture doesn't list any specific sinful actions.  We aren't told how terrible a guy he was.  All we know is that he was a man.  But that is enough to necessitate forgiveness from God.  Why?  Because all of us were born into open rebellion against God (Ephesians 2).  The fact that reading the previous sentence doesn't cause us to burst into tears is proof that we have little understanding of the infinite value of God himself and the sheer evil and wickedness of rebellion against him.  For when we understand the level of our depravity, then His forgiveness becomes so tangible you can taste it.  His grace becomes so thick it is suffocating.  God's forgiveness of me makes the forgiveness of murderer look like my wife forgiving me for misleading her about my intentions for a date in a lame attempt surprise her (which has not yet happened in our marriage).  And when we realize how much we have been forgiven, then we are able to freely forgive others.  And it is this kind of forgiveness that brings about massive individual and corporate life change.  For being forgiven is a motivator like no other to stimulate life change, while giving forgiveness constantly keeps you dependent on the One who first forgave you.

Death

Death is a rather morbid subject, and I doubt seriously that as many people click on this link from facebook as they did when Tebow was in the subject line, but so it goes.  Seven years ago this weekend I watched the AFC and NFC championship games with my dad in a hospital room in Hanford, California.  I had been admitted to the hospital the previous Friday night (January 21, 2005) because, unbeknownst to me at the time, my small intestine had ruptured and I was dying.  My dad had traveled from Anchorage to Hanford on that Saturday and on Sunday we sat there all afternoon watching the football games.  It was a release from the unending pain and undeniable fact that I was a 24 year old fighter pilot in a hospital.  It diverted my attention from reality.  And the reality was, within 10 days I would be written off for dead by surgeons.  Between now and the Superbowl, I would spend five days in surgery and walk on the edge of death.  But that Sunday afternoon while watching football, I never in a million years would have thought that I would have ended up coming so close to dying.  And while I don't remember much from the week and half between coming into the hospital and surgery, I remember being more worried about not flying airplanes anymore than I was of dying.  

As I have thought about this I have come to two conclusions.  First, most of us, while knowing we will die some day (statistics aren't in our favor), don't think it will be anytime soon and are convinced, or at least live as if we are convinced, that we will have ample warning before it happens.  Second, we are more concerned about the legacy we leave rather than whether that legacy leads us to Christ.  The application from these two conclusions is this: first, while we can't live in fear of dying, we must realize that we are not promised tomorrow nor are we promised ample warning followed by a peaceful death (again, statistics not in our favor).  And if we aren't promised tomorrow, we have to do something with the fact that we will die and what happens after death.  Second, worry about getting more of Christ rather than your legacy.  Quick, name your great, great grandfather on your mom's side.  Dad's side?  What did they do?  I bet most people can't, I know I can't.  If you can't name your own great, great grandfather, what makes you think your great, great grandkids will know who you are or how awesome you were?  We have a tendency to think higher of ourselves and our legacy than we probably should.  We live, we die, and then we see Jesus face to face.  Is your life pointing to that meeting being one of joyous fulfillment in finally, at last, seeing God face to face or terror?